10. In Your Place - Track ten from "Head Above Water" by Marshlander

In Your Place

There are no ghosts, but as I sit here

Memories are shimmering on the edge of recall.

The shadow of a thought of a recollection.

Nothing more will focus but I feel I want to scribble

Half a word, half a sketch while I’m sitting in this unaccustomed quiet

In your place.

Silence gives way, splintered by memory

The howl of your laughter uncoils in an echo of a thought.

I thought you were brave.

Or was it just persistence?

You must have been strong so I feel I want to share half a smile and a tear

While I’m sitting in this unaccustomed quiet

In your place.

We never quite said what was important.

Instead we sent e-mails and kept each other amused.

You tried to recruit another campaigner,

But I turned you down so I feel I want to share half a word, half a line

While I’m sitting in this unaccustomed quiet

In your place.

Those things never shared 

You knew that I meant them.

You should have rejected me, but you took me in as one of your own.

You thanked me many times for making him happy.

I think we should have hugged.

You should have had a new hat.

In your place of private grief and hilarious meals I shed a tear, 

In your place.

It’s strange how in death I sing out to reach you.

We put you in the ground and that’s where you’ll always be.

Sometimes you feel near; those memories shimmer.

We could not have been more different, but I feel I want to sing half a line, half a song while I’m sitting in this unaccustomed quiet

In your place.

(Music and lyrics by Marshlander - all rights reserved)

Another death in the family. I'm at that age where the frequency of deaths around me is accelerating. These thoughts are about sitting in the house of a loved one who has recently died and trying to pull together some coherent memories.